Hello!
How are you guys doing? Is there even anyone checking this blog until now? Hahaha. It’s been almost a decade since my last post and I honestly don’t even know how to write a blog entry anymore. I realized it’s hard to come back to this type of writing style when it’s been so long since I stopped blogging and I’ve also been writing press releases, marketing & advertising materials and been doing some copywriting as part of my work instead of writing blog entries. Two totally different styles, which I’m sure people who work in the same field will agree.
I don’t intend to go back to blogging about TVXQ/JYJ or K-Pop (I don’t think I can do that diligently anymore) but I just want to give a life update to the friends/fellow fans/readers I’ve met through this blog. I also feel like I owe it to my past active fangirl self to at least have an entry about achieving something I’ve always wished as an OG OT5 Cassiopeia. This blog, afterall, was meant to chronicle and share my journey as Dong Bang Shin Ki’s fan.
So, what happened to me the past (almost) 10 years I was gone and why did I stop blogging? Well, I have been mainly busy with work life. Work has been so demanding that I just did not have the time to scour different sites and forums for daily news and updates on the boys like I used to. The fact that they split up and has their own schedules and activities made it even harder. I just couldn’t keep up with everything anymore. In fact, there was a period when I just decided to distance myself from K-Pop. From 2014 to mid 2017, I barely have any updates on what the boys are doing except for JaeJoong since I follow a lot of his fans on Twitter (now called X) and back then, he’s the only one who really updates his socials. Also, I gravitate more to the rock/pop/ballad genre of his solo releases more than the solo releases of the other members that’s why I am more updated on him than the other 4 during that period. I actually thought I’d eventually grow tired of OT5 TVXQ and finally say goodbye to my K-Pop fangirl phase since I’ve managed to minimize my involvement with them for several years.
Oh boy was I wrong.
It was October 2017 when it was announced that Kim JaeJoong will finally have his first fan meeting in Manila. The fangirl in me came to life again because it’s been my dream to see my 5 precious boys up close so I cannot possibly pass up the chance to see at least one of them live. The 2017 Kim JaeJoong Asia Tour Fan Meeting in Manila was held on November 30, 2017, which happens to be a holiday here in the Philippines. I was able to secure a VIP ticket that’s quite close to the stage that is why I was able to really enjoy watching JaeJoong up close throughout the duration of the show. It was my first time hearing him sing live, the voice that I love the most in K-Pop, which made me really emotional. The highlight of the day, however, was the fan sign event that was held prior to the start of the fan meeting. I was very lucky to be picked as one of the fans who were given the chance to see him face to face during the fan sign event. And OMG, JaeJoong really looks ethereal and unreal in person! He’s already gorgeous on TV, but he’s beyond stunning up close and he was glowing like he has an invisible ring light attached to him. And his skin? Milky white, flawless and he has ZERO PORES! As a female, his beauty and flawless white skin is something I can only hope to have. Oh, and I actually had a little special moment with him, too. After saying hello to each other, he began signing the poster and I was just left looking at him speechless while he’s signing. When he was finally done, I was still just looking at him intently that I wasn’t able to react immediately when he was handing the poster to me. He kinda giggled a bit because I must have looked so starstruck. Only when he said “Thank you!” the second time did I finally get back to my senses and I replied “Kamsahamnida!”. He laughed again and also said “Kamsahamnida. Salamat!” with a little bow. I said “Thank you! Salamat!” with a bow and finally moved on since his body guard was already telling me to move. That little encounter will always have a special place in my heart and I’ll forever remember it because it was my first time meeting & talking to an OG member of TVXQ and it happened to be my ultimate bias. Also, being away from the fandom for a couple of years and honestly, not being active in attending the gatherings of Cassiopeia PH, I attended this fan meeting “alone”. Well, ok technically I was with some fans but these are fans I just “met” on Twitter a couple of days before the fan meeting who were also going solo and are looking for companions. During this time, I don’t have a group of fans that I really consider as my close friends because for the longest time, I’m not really active in attending fan events because of my busy schedule at work. Good thing I’m in a fandom that’s generally so welcoming so I was able to enjoy bonding with the ones I met even if we’re not really long time close friends.
Seeing JaeJoong up close renewed my enthusiasm to come back to fangirling again. Little by little, I began to go back to trying to somehow keep up to the latest updates, releases and activities of OT5. I still can’t keep up like I used to, but at least I somehow managed to stay in the loop on the most important updates. And then on May 1, 2019, a PH K-Pop organizer/promoter announced that they will be bringing TVXQ’s Circle ~#with~ concert in Manila. Of course, Filo Cassies were ecstatic of this news since we’ve also waited a long time for Yunho and Changmin to have a concert here in the Philippines and honestly, after the fan meeting of JaeJoong in 2017, we’ve all been waiting for the other members to finally visit the Philippines, too. The concert was scheduled on July 13, 2019 and all of us were excited, though we kinda had issues with the promoter because they were not promoting the concert enough. It was actually us, the fans, who’s exerting more effort in promoting it even to foreign fans. But because of our excitement to see Yunho and Changmin, we set aside the doubts and since the promoter sold tickets for the concert already, we thought it will push through no matter what happens. And then around 3 weeks before the concert date, the promoter suddenly announced that the concert is “indefinitely postponed” (it basically means “cancelled”) due to some BS reasons that they did not even explain properly. Filo Cassies were beyond angry with the promoter because apart from their failure to properly promote the concert, they also did not give us a proper reason why it was “indefintely postponed”. More than anything, we were heartbroken because we were so excited to finally see Yunho and Changmin live in Manila and then suddenly it gets cancelled. Up until now, I’m still angry with that trash promoter (*cough* PULP-pak *cough*). I have never really forgiven them especially on the way they treated Filo Cassies after they cancelled the show. Until now, I refuse to watch any concert or event organized or promoted by them no matter how much I like the artist or group. I probably will only do it if they’re gonna bring any of the OT5 members here for a solo concert or fan meeting and I’ll do it not because I forgive them for what they’ve done but because I love the boys so much.
Because of the heartbreak that is TVXQ Concert in Manila, I decided to finally conquer my fear of watching concerts overseas and attend the Taipei leg of TVXQ’s Circle ~#with~ Concert which was scheduled in September 2019. Since the announcement of the cancellation of the Manila concert was in June, Taipei was the only remaining option that will give me ample time to prepare for everything (filing for leave at work, booking plane tickets, looking for Airbnb and purchasing a concert ticket). I was actually worried to attend an overseas concert alone but I figured I’d do it just to finally see Yunho and Changmin and ease the pain brought by the cancelled concert in Manila. Fortunately, I was able to find a couple of Filo Cassies who were also planning to watch the concert in Taipei due to the cancelled show in Manila. A Facebook group was created for all Filo Cassies going to Taipei and we helped each other in purchasing tickets, arranged shared Airbnbs and even booked the same flights. I flew to Taipei in the evening of September 7, 2019 together with a fellow fan and we met with the other Filo Cassies who were on a different flight at Taipei Airport and went to our shared Airbnb. With just a few hours of sleep, we woke up early on September 8, 2019 and prepared the freebies that we were going to give out to fellow fans at the venue before the concert. Once at the venue, we met a lot of fans from other countries wherein we exchanged freebies, took pictures, and chatted while waiting for the gates to open. When the concert started, I still can’t believe I’m seeing Yunho and Changmin at last. I was in the VIP Standing area so I can see them quite clearly and right from the get go, I felt like crying just from the sheer excitement and joy of finally seeing the two of them live. By the time they sang Tonight, I can no longer hold my tears from falling. It’s like a dam broke down because I was really sobbing so hard and was a crying mess. Tonight is one of my favorite OT5 Korean ballads and to finally hear it live, but now sang by just 2 instead of 5 members, is such a bittersweet experience. The whole concert was a blast and it was beyond my expectations. I’ve always known concerts by any of the OT5 TVXQ members will always be amazing because they’ve always been exceptional and passionate live performers but actually experiencing it live was even more special. It was also in this trip that Above & Beyond TVXQ (from here on will be referred to as A&B) was formed. This trip ignited our desire to be active fans again and organize events for OT5 Filo Cassies. This Taipei trip is memorable not only because it was my first time seeing Yunho and Changmin in person but also because this is when I found a new set of friends who love OT5 TVXQ the same way I do.
Having already experienced attending a concert overseas, I decided to go for another one in 2020. I was supposed to watch the 2020 Kim JaeJoong Asia Tour Concert in Kuala Lumpur scheduled on March 14, 2020 and in fact, I was already able to secure a VIP ticket that’s very close to the stage, but then COVID happened. The concert was cancelled and I was really sad because it was supposed to be my first JaeJoong solo concert experience. But of course, health and safety comes first above all else so I really can’t do anything about it.
And then 2022 came. After almost 2 years of the world seemingly taking a pause because of the COVID pandemic, the concert scene is finally slowly coming back. It was around November when it was announced that TVXQ will be participating in a joint concert called Be You 2: The World Will Care on December 8 in Cebu and December 9 in Manila along with Chen & Xiumin of EXO and BoA. Of course, I was so excited for this but due to the 2019 incident, I really have trust issues with PH organizers/promoters already. True enough, there were so many issues with the organizer but one good thing is it still pushed through. I was able to secure a VIP ticket that’s very near the stage (as in it was at the barricade close to the center ramp connecting the main & extended stage) thanks to my A&B friends who lined up overnight during the pre-sale period. Yunho and Changmin performed 4 songs only (Maximum, Keep Your Head Down, Circle and Mirotic) and they were the second to the last performer (last was BoA) for the night. As usual, they were amazing and they were able to attract and impress new fans, mostly the EXO-Ls who were at the venue who doesn’t know TVXQ or never watched them perform before. I felt so proud that my boys still managed to impress other fandoms and convert some of them into Cassies just from their amazing and all out live performances. It also felt great to finally do the Mirotic fanchant with fellow Filo Cassies. I mean I’ve done it during their concert in Taipei but it hits different when they’re performing it in our “homecourt” and all of us Filo Cassies as well as the other fandoms in Araneta were doing the iconic fanchant. Needless to say, I cried a bucket again when they were done performing just because I finally saw them perform in Manila. This was also extra fun for me because I was seated with all my A&B friends and we were even able to have some bonding time starting from the night before the concert date until after the concert.
Just a couple of months after I saw TVXQ perform in Manila, the same organizer of Be You 2 suddenly announced that JaeJoong will be having a concert in Manila on July 28, 2023. And when I say “suddenly”, I really mean SUDDENLY. As in 2 weeks notice. Imagine how nerve-wracking it was for all of us Filo Babies (JaeJoong’s new solo fandom name) to actually prepare for a concert with only 2 weeks notice. Needless to say, the ticket sales was not really good due to the rush announcement since some working fans were not able to file for leave or some from the far away provinces were not able to book plane tickets because they’re so expensive already given that the date is too near. But good thing the show still pushed through despite the low ticket sales and we really tried our best to still give JaeJoong the best crowd experience. He was very professional, too because he still gave an all out performance as if he’s performing in front of a sold-out crowd. It was my first JaeJoong concert experience (since 2017 was a fan meeting) and my god, it was really an incredible experience. I was just impressed and awestruck by his voice and stage presence the whole time. I think he also enjoyed the crowd that night because we were really loud and wild, just how he likes it. Hahaha! I also cried when he sang I’ll Protect You as his last song. I always dreamed of being able to sing along to this because this is known to be JaeJoong’s song for his fans and also our song for him. To be able to finally sing along with it and also sing it to him is just surreal and emotional. Just like in previous concerts/shows, I was lucky to be able to secure a Superwave ticket wherein I was seated on the 2nd row from the stage and it includes a sound check, photo op, and send-off session as fan benefits. Only 150 fans were able to avail of the Superwave so I was grateful I was able to secure 3 tickets – one for me and for my 2 other A&B friends. Sound check was held before the show and according to JaeJoong, it was his first time to have a sound check with fans so he didn’t really know what to do and just sang one song. Then the photo op session was held after the concert and after the non-superwave ticket holders were asked to leave the venue. The photo op was 1/20 and I was lucky to be near JaeJoong in the photo. We only have one fan in between us but that’s ok since I still saw him up close and had another short moment with him again. Looking at him eye to eye while he’s smiling at me is enough for me. After the show, I ate dinner with my A&B friends and some other Filo Cassies/Babies. Even dinner was such a blast because we were all still on a high from the amazing concert we’ve witnessed. I just love how these concerts from our OT5 bring us closer together and provide us with so much joy and happiness.
Anyway, that’s my summarized life update for the last 10 years. Sorry for the long post if ever anyone is reading this. I just really wanted to share these experiences here just like how I use to share my love for them years ago. I’m just so happy that my wish of seeing the members finally came true even though I’m still currently 3/5. It took a long time and it’s a lot harder (and more expensive haha) now that I have to actually follow them individually instead of as one group, but at least I still got to see them live even once in my life. As a fangirl who has been loving them for half of my life, it is a dream come true. I hope I can see Junsu and Yoochun soon so that I can finally complete my “OT5 TVXQ collection” and I can finally have the closure I’ve always wanted. I know I’ll always be their fan, but I also know I cannot go on with this lifestyle forever. I can’t always spend on expensive tickets and fly or travel to wherever they are just to see their concerts or fan meetings. At some point, I will have to prioritize other things in life but as of now, while I still can and while I still have the time, I will try my best to fulfill the dream of my younger fangirl self so that I won’t have any what ifs or regrets in the future.
P.S. Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, if any. I also apologize for the bad writing. I’m still a little rusty from the long hiatus from blogging. 😅
*chaos under control* 