It’s been a very long time since I last posted a blog entry that solely contains what I feel and what’s been running on my mind. After the whole issue about DBSK splitting to JYJ and the new DBSK composed of HoMin, I haven’t written a lot of opinionated posts anymore. I actually missed writing such posts and I have attempted a lot of times to try and write one again but I just don’t seem to have the motivation to write anything anymore. Maybe it’s because most of the time, voicing out what I feel and what I think of the situation hurts so much. I just stopped writing because I wanted to avoid the pain.

But tonight, I just can’t help but express what I feel by writing an op-ed. I’ve been holding back for so long that I think it doesn’t matter anymore if I’m being re-acquainted with the pain I felt because of DBSK.

For the past few days, I’ve been checking out information about SM Entertainment’s new group EXO. I was curious because a lot of the people I know who likes to listen to K-pop has been talking about this rookie group. True enough, they are indeed an interesting bunch of guys. I think their songs are good, they have powerful dance choreography and the members Luhan, Kris, Sehun and Suho really caught my attention. I was ALMOST ready to join in the EXO bandwagon and start fangirling over them.

But then everything changed when I saw a video yesterday while looking  up for some videos of EXO. It was a video of DBSK’s performance of Bolero during their 4th Live Tour in Tokyo Dome. I clicked it and watched the video and suddenly, I found myself mesmerized by DBSK all over again. I suddenly found myself crying while watching my precious boys singing and I ended up watching a lot of their old videos and cuts from their concert tours.

Watching their videos made me realize so many things that I think I have tried to neglect and forget ever since they split into two groups.

I realized that because I was trying to avoid the pain of seeing them separated, I slowly and unconsciously drifted away from DBSK. I busied myself with work and attempted to try to look for another K-pop group to like and support. But even though I’ve been trying to ‘discover’ other groups for months now, I still can’t find a ‘suitable’ one to replace DBSK. I don’t see myself following their careers and sharing their happiness and pain like I did with DBSK. At first I thought I might really be losing my interest in K-pop, that maybe I’m getting tired of it. But now I know why I can’t seem to love any other K-pop group. It’s because DBSK is really irreplaceable. What other Cassies say is true, once you’re into DBSK, there is no turning back. I think if you’re a hardcore DBSK fan, a Cassiopeia, it’s really hard to like other groups because DBSK is just so great that it would be hard to look for a group who could match their greatness. What they have and what they can do is beyond anyone’s imagination. I have not seen any other group that can produce a beautiful harmony as DBSK. DBSK is the most precious miracle that happened in Asian pop.

I also realized that no matter how much I’m hurting over the fact that Yunho and Changmin still uses DBSK as their name and no matter how much I try to ignore them in hopes of reducing the pain and disappointment I’m feeling, I still care for these two guys so much. I may be more vocal of my support to JaeJoong, Junsu and Yoochun and I may be indifferent towards Yunho and Changmin but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them anymore. Yes, it still disappoints me whenever I hear them use the name DBSK to refer to their two-member group, it still hurts whenever I look back at the interviews where they said a few statements that could have hurt their brothers but then I realized it’s impossible for me to hate any of the five members because they are still, and always will  be my most treasured boys who hold a very special place in my heart.

And lastly, I realized how much I miss Cassiopeia. I miss the Red Ocean, that awesome fandom who is willing to do anything for our five stars. Part of the reason why the separation of DBSK is such a hard thing for me to bear is because along with the group’s split also came the division of Cassiopeia. For someone like me who draws strength from the knowledge that Cassiopeia is still one and united, the division of the fandom was something that really broke my heart. During the early period of the split, I had managed to keep my hope and faith intact but when I realized that Cassiopeia is slowly breaking into two just like DBSK, I lost hope and I myself began to take sides. But after looking back at Cassiopeia’s efforts for DBSK in the past, after looking at how beautiful a united Red Ocean looks like, I realized that I shouldn’t have given up and that I should never give up. Yes, it’s painful to know that K-pop’s most awesome fandom is in chaos right now but I believe that there are still those Cassies who still believe in the five members, those who are still keeping the faith. I also believe that those who have tried to run away and find comfort in another group/fandom will still come back to Cassiopeia and DBSK in the end, just like what happened to me. After all, once a Cassiopeia, always a Cassiopeia.

What DBSK and Cassiopeia has is a special bond like no other. We are at a point wherein our relationship is no longer that of an idol-fan. DBSK and Cassiopeia have become one in heart, mind and soul. We are no longer two separate beings who can easily turn away from each other. Through the years, we have shared each others’ happiness and pain and we’ve been through a lot of challenges together. This is another challenge that we have to face and we just have to stay strong for each other. One day, I believe that we can pass through this and all of this will be over. We just have to ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH.

It feels great to be back home where I truly belong – to DBSK and Cassiopeia. :)

Comments
  1. Wow… this is so amazing..it moved me to tears. Isn’t it strange that cassies like you and I, who are complete strangers, feel the same way? it’s the bond of Cassiopeia. There are FIVE stars in the W of Cassiopeia, and there will always be. “Once a Cassiopeia, there’s no turning back.” -Yes, I completely agree. I will never leave this red ocean. Never. Thank you for inspiring my faith even more my fellow Cassie. Always Keep the Faith <3 :)

  2. I was searching for an old tvxq interview and accidentally came across your blog and read this post. I just felt like saying those words: Welcome back home!! ^^

    this reminded me of what Yunho said, no matter how far they are separated from tvxq, they will comeback together someday.. because tvxq is their home ^^ … I can say Cassiopeia is just the same for us as tvxq is for them!

    And I just want to tell you one more thing… if Yunho and Changmin used the name “tvxq” to refer to them as 2 members.. Jaejoong wouldnt have written “JYJ from TVXQ” 2 months after homin’s comeback as “TVXQ”..

    Let’s trust the 5 and wait for them….

  3. dharaa raa says:

    Hello dear …

    I just speechless really ~ i dont know when the exactly i found ur blog months ago, but when it was, u just leaving … Honestly, really sad that u choosed that way -being only JYJ fans- , since i read ur previous post that i knew u once also a Cassiopeia….

    But then today, i indirectly to ur blog again, hell yeah?? u back? really??
    This’s so touching … Really happy … u said u were leaving but then u back to show ur love for the 5 boys …

    Thanks … for coming back
    and Welcome home ^____^

  4. Yeah, welcome back home dear!

    Just like U, I have tried many times to like or make me busy with other bands, but what I got is nothing alws, I cant find myself in them, any interes neither. Bcoz I’m alws feeling ” not enough, they still lack sth” that I cant explain, vs I also dont wanna find the answer, just bcoz it may remind me of our boys, vs I’ll be hurt for sure!

    I almost have not watched any vid/ fancam/ perf, etc. of 2 or 3, but still follow their news. I cant bear watching a empty stage with just 2 or 3 on it. It’s too sad, too rude for me to handle ~~ I know it means that I don dare to face to the fact, but not meaning that I dont know the truth; I know it, vs I still wait 4 the come back day; I just dont wanna bother myself more for the sadness or loneliness which r showing up suddenly in our boys’ eyes.

    I can b proud of myself that I have never broken or losen my faith on them <3 That faith is still living passionately in my heart, my soul, my mind vs it'll explode one day for the happiness, bcoz that day is when our boys go home <3!

    Under this situation, it's not easy to keep the faith alws, but our boys dont leave us alone with our own imagination; they often give us hints, give us hope through their actions/ words, that's saving our lifes now ;A;

    The last words I just wanna say here " ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH- HOPE TO THE END"

  5. happyfeet123 says:

    Really happy for you! Yes, always keep the faith because TVXQ (referring to all 5) needs cassiopeias like you right now in order to stay strong and we are all hoping for that day to come so don’t give up, even if it might take some time :)

  6. newlyJYJfan says:

    actually, i am a new fan of jyj then suddenly they are from the name so called tvxq, and what i would say, im their new

  7. newlyJYJfan says:

    fan, i realize myself listening to their old great songs.., so funny i discovered them this year 2012.

  8. newlyJYJfan says:

    i only knew kim hyun joong as a korean singer but bcoz of him i accidentally amaze by the beauty of kim jaejoong :),

  9. NanaCass says:

    i love you all cassie’s >..< !!

  10. Teona says:

    maybe it’s too late but… happy u back when u back it’s no matter, most important is that u back :)
    I agree with u almost everything but I can’t no to say this. Yunho and Changming don’t use name of TVXQ. They are T (TVXQ). they didn’t leave this group, they stayed. for me “keep the faith” are they… they are whole meaning of this phrase… they are there because of us, because of Cassis. They make Cassiopeias believe in TVXQ, never stop fighting, they are making everything for us, they are doing everything to save TVXQ – the Group We Adore. sometimes I think that They are more Cassiopeian than we are, because never stop believe in TVXQ. the name that always will stayed not only in our memory but in universe, in Asia, in Pop industry. this name have huge meaning not only for Cassis… this is a respectable name… and Cassis always will be the side of this name – TVXQ… I’m very happy that Yunho and Changming didn’t divided and they save TVXQ. they didn’t stoped TVXQ’s story… because this is A Great Story. because Jaejoong will never replace his tatoos in back (TVfXQ SOUL) and because JYJ will always want to be a part of this story. I’m sure Changming can make huge solo carrier, because his voice is just unbelievable… but no they stayed there for US. so please support them too… as never before, now, they need our support….
    thanks once again that u back… and i really like ur post ^^
    and of cause
    ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH

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